If you want Pale Oak but you're buying Dulux, go for Dusted Moss 3. It lands at a ΔE of 1 from the original, which is below the threshold most people can even register with the naked eye — to all intents and purposes it's the same colour. With an LRV of 70.6 it stays in that soft, bright-but-grounded zone that makes Pale Oak so easy to live with: a greige that leans warm without going beige, and reads clean rather than muddy.
Your back-up is Khaki Mists 5 at ΔE 1.3 and LRV 68.4. That's still a very close match — anything under 2.5 is what I'd call indistinguishable on a wall — and it's a touch deeper, so if Dusted Moss 3 feels a shade too pale for a north-facing room or a big open space, Khaki Mists 5 gives you a hair more depth to hold the light.
The usual "but what about" here: people worry a cross-brand match won't behave the same. The colour will be right, but the finish and the way it flashes in changing light depends on the paint body, not just the pigment. Benjamin Moore's Regal Select has a particular soft sheen; Dulux Diamond Matt or Heritage if you fancy a flatter, chalkier look will sit slightly differently. That's a feel thing, not a colour thing.
Whatever the ΔE says, buy a sample pot and test it. Paint a big patch — A2 at least — on more than one wall and look at it morning and evening. Greiges like this are the most light-sensitive family there is, and a north window versus a south window will shift it more than the gap between these two Dulux options ever could. Get the light right and either of these will have you sorted.