Honestly, mate, the question splits into two: walls and cabinets. They want different things.
For walls, you want something warm and forgiving that won't go grey under kitchen lighting and won't fight your worktops. Farrow & Ball's Pointing is the safest off-white going — soft, warm, not stark. If you want a touch more depth, Slipper Satin or Skimming Stone both sit beautifully behind a busy kitchen without looking dirty. For something brighter on a north-facing kitchen, Little Greene Slaked Lime or COAT's warm neutrals keep things crisp without going clinical.
For cabinets, this is where you commit. The colours that have proven themselves time and again in kitchens are greens and blues — they ground the room and make food, brass and timber look cracking. Farrow & Ball Card Room Green and Treron are both gorgeous on a Shaker door. Want a bit more drama? Inchyra Blue or Hague Blue on a lower run with off-white above never disappoints. Little Greene's range of deeper greens is equally strong, and Mylands does some lovely earthy options too.
But what about white kitchens? They still work, especially in smaller or darker spaces. Just don't use a builder's brilliant white — go for Wevet or Strong White so it reads soft rather than sterile.
The "but what about durability" question: kitchens are wet, greasy, high-traffic. On walls use a wipeable finish — modern emulsions and washable matts cope fine. On cabinets, use a proper eggshell or a dedicated cabinet paint. Prime bare or laminate doors with Zinsser BIN first and you'll get adhesion that lasts.
Practical advice: buy sample pots, paint big swatches on a couple of walls and a spare cupboard door, and live with them for two days — kitchen lighting changes everything between morning and evening. Test against your worktop and floor, not against a blank wall.